Five Senses of Nairobi on my Walk to School

Sights

On my walk to school I see friendly faces and big smiles welcoming me to Kenya. Or do I see those faces really hoping for some money and some business? That is one dilemma. I see beautiful black faces but no white faces - at least not in my neighborhood. Maybe that is the reason why I see the stares, the whispers, the surprise, and the pointing. I see poverty. Children playing amongst the garbage, illegal stands everywhere, knocked down - some burning, some still standing, some being built up again. I see the city council came by last night and flattened all the stands. "That will show them" - but they are up and running again. I see the most random products. I see despair but I see hope.

Smells

On my walk to school I smell garbage. Rotting garbage, fresh garbage, and the worst, smoking and burning garbage. I smell year's worth of garbage up to my knee's worth of garbage. I smell exhaust. I smell the man in front of me. I smell the woman behind me. These are all bad smells. My relief is a small scent of fresh fruit but that is only for a moment. My nostrils burn.

Sounds

On my walk to school, I hear my family laughing, yelling, and singing before I shut the door. I hear the TV before I leave the gate. There is never silence. I hear wild cats fighting, people working, talking, doing business. I hear American rap music. I hear buses and cars, honking and beeping. Early traffic jams. I hear "Muzungo" (white person) "How are you" "Hallo" "Come look, come buy"....then I hear myself sigh, laugh or repeat: no, no, no. I hear "Give me money" I hear people wanting to make a living. People who want money. People who need money.

Tastes

On my walk to school, I taste dust and exhaust. My mouth waters for the fruit on the sides of the roads. Can I eat that, or will I get sick?

Feelings

On my walk to school, I feel nervous, but at the same time, strong and independent. I have come so far from the first day in this city. I feel rude for not replying to the group at the corner of Kenyatta Market who scream out to me everyday "Hi - how are you?" But I was told to keep walking. I never feel I am unsafe or in danger. I feel happy when I look around and see a world so new and different. I feel guilty and sad that some of these differences are kids with no shoes, garbage up to my waist, sewage on the streets, illegal vendors, etc, etc, etc. I feel overwhelmed. I feel thankful to be an American but embarrassed. I feel like I need to reach out and help...what can I do? I don't know what to feel.